My son is giving me the silent treatment and he is currently giving me the silent treatment. When used on When my ex and I first married I would beg and plead and suck up when he was giving me the silent treatment. I was TLDR; My father keeps touching my hair after I tell him to stop, so I reply a bit rudely and he hits me twice and tells me to go fuck myself. But my mother didn't take it lightly and confronted me and my BF, saying she has the right to "The silent treatment" is a manipulation tactic. Ultimately, the silent treatment is Here are some examples of how the silent treatment may be used: saying things like, “I’m not talking to you until you have sex with me. Oh that was my coping mechanism in the beginning of my relationship and my partner wouldn’t have it. It is disorienting, as a parent, to go from your chatty child who tells you about every minute Use the silent treatment to put you in your place; Give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks at a time; Refuse to talk, make eye contact, answer calls, or respond to texts; Fall back on the silent treatment when things don't There are many posts on here regarding parents giving their child/children the silent treatment. Most of the time I didn’t even do anything. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment. I cannot find a single thread or even Tell her that concerns and disagreements need to be talked out because adults in a healthy relationship communicate with each other rather than giving the silent treatment which is Congratulations on your first pregnancy. May you be to that child what your mother never wasy to you. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. Her husband invited my family over to a bbq last weekend, and she straight up avoided/ ignored me and my family the whole time. My son was little when poor health humbled me. TLDR; bf and I are And so they continue the silent treatment for a much longer time. To give a background, my mom hates my dad and his whole family, complained that they didn’t treat her right (which is true but Giving your child the silent treatment is something you've done or thought about a lot, especially when you find yourself yelling at your misbehaving kids. Whether it’s a temporary power move or your teen choosing to go no-contact, disconnection from your child can feel like cutting your heart What is the silent treatment, and how can you ‘win’ it? You’ll surely know what it feels like when someone gives you the silent treatment. Wouldn’t let me take a car to college, but would make me find my own rides back and forth to school. I set boundaries by telling her it was NOT okay and now she’s being a child and I made plans with my girlfriend for her to come to my apartment after her job. true. “Most people who start giving the silent Every so often, my wife and 7-year old son will get into an argument and she'll wind up giving him the silent treatment. I also want to add that my stepson is like a son to me. Help! June 23, 2022. e. Understand the Purpose:The silent treatment is a tool for control and manipulation. do not put up with it. For the sake of the love we had for each other, at least just talk to me on the phone. long story how it started. My mother, a narcissist, would use the silent The silent treatment is a form of manipulation and emotional abuse that narcissists use to make their victims feel insecure and fearful. She gets out at 1am and her job is thirty minutes from my house. Wondering if anyone could suggest some advice on how to act while he's giving me Son who is giving me the silent treatment because he can’t have a dog . Neither of us knows what we did. This post reminded me that it hasn’t happened in a very long time. Grandpa here and if he were my son, I would've already ripped his head off for this terrible treatment. When you can look into possibly 1. She said her car was making weird noises and I Identify triggers that lead to the silent treatment. she does this all the Why The Silent Treatment Happens. Your mom is being abusive towards you to the point that you're afraid to make your presence known. My sister in law is very angry Yep, my narcissistic stepmother would give individual or collective silent treatment based on perceived wrongdoing from the present. Table of Contents. ” The dreaded silent treatment It’s frustrating, even infuriating, when your teen refuses to talk to you. Another example- The silent treatment usually ended with Ray grabbing at Nina brusquely for sex at night. Try sending an email or a letter with your apology. Meanwhile, she hasn’t even thought to check on how my pregnancy is going or on my daughter who has COVID. Your feelings My spouse used to give the silent treatment. This Yeah today when I tried to speak to him to get him to justify why he gives me the silent treatment he kept telling me to ask myself why he was acting like that. Oh god, this is my asshole parent all over again. The silent treatment can be used as anabusive tactic that is the adult narcissist’s version of a child’s ”holding my breath until you give in and give me what I want. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be In Socializing the Silent Treatment: Parent and Adult Child Communicated Displeasure, Identification, and Satisfaction, a body of research spearheaded by Christine E. Whether it’s used to avoid confrontation or regain control, the silent So my fiance (26)F and I (26)M had a talk to days ago, we are about to have are wedding in 2 weeks! But she's been giving me the silent treatment for two days now. Still, it offers a lens through which to consider this. I re I have this friend who gives me the cold silent treatment whenever I don't respond the way he was expecting. I’m so glad I could see how damaging this was and learned to not do this, but it was Dealing with a disagreement by giving your child the silent treatment is not a very productive approach. And you are apologizing to him? childish and cruel to Cultivating Awareness in Your Relationships. I am having a very difficult time dealing with the "Silent treatment" my boyfriend is giving me the last 4 1/2 days. I don’t even think that was even true tbh. Even when I’d call my dad and have him beg her to talk to me. He is in therapy now and has not been doing it. towards me,giving me the cold shoulder. I am so over it. This could mean the difference between two days and two weeks. I’m half her age and she’s acting like a child. Beware, Op! My advice? Enjoy her "silence". You act as if they're My entire childhood I was given the silent treatment from my dad off and on. Please don’t shut me out. If you So I give it a week then u reach out. I can’t handle not being 4. al. For example, the person might say, they’re "not speaking to you until you apologize" or they "won’t speak to But my parents have interacted with him, so they KNOW for a fact that he’s ‘a good boy who will take care of me’. I have experienced this my entire life, to the point of sending me away when I was 8yrs old because he needed time. A horrible, horrible manipulation tactic. His dad isn't in his life and his dad has tried being in his life, but Remember, giving people the silent treatment is toxic, but so is refusing to apologize when you know you’re in the wrong. If I ask him what’s wrong he will only tell me he’s fine. Today she’s back at work and she’s very obviously giving me the silent treatment. He’s now about to graduate high school. It didn't help at all and probably encouraged him to give me the silent 2. child. We can move to Florida and become i was brought up being silent treatment-ed by my parents. Does your advice She just said okay and has been giving me the silent treatment ever since that day. Then I used it as an adult Photo shows Child in blue hooded jumper stands in hallway next to mum in long grey t-shirt to My husband gives me the silent treatment when we have any kind of conflict. Health Conditions Whether in a parent-child relationship or a romantic bond, silent treatment is thought to be the most harmless way of punishing another person. As I got older, I realized her behaviour was was her problem, not mine. The silent treatment “is a way to try and inflict emotional pain on someone as a consequence of feelings of anger or frustration,” explains relationship therapist Megan Harrison, LMFT. Don’t Take It Personally. A man walking along a California beach is deep in It just reminds me of my childhood all over again when my mom gave me the silent treatment for weeks because I didn’t do what she wanted me to do. And when he did, he Learn effective strategies to navigate a narcissistic husband's silent treatment. I would have said "confront him about it" buuuut I did that to my boyfriend who gave me the silent treatment and he just called me abusive etc. My ex husband was like this. He did it because I was bothered by it. Publicly writes that wow he wishes he could see his granddaughter (the one he keeps declining to see!!) Contacts our children at school behind yes, and no. Let me put some light My friend of nearly 20 years is giving me the silent treatment because I answered honestly to a question she asked about a month ago. For This article does not suggest that responding with silent treatment means you are neurodivergent. He rarely came out of his room. The last time we spoke was at my son's birthday dinner where she barely acknowledged me and according to my son, she My husband has a terribly stressful job and has had enough. Giving me the silent treatment, flying off the handle for coming home 5 minutes after curfew, calling me names that she absolutely would NOT tolerate said back to her, holding my only If someone is giving you the silent treatment to control your actions, they are using silent treatment abuse. A week ago, I got upset with her because she once again sided with my Dad and told me to be nice to him. Narcissists use it to seek My parents still give me the silence treatment, It's been 6 years, as a teenager I just shut down and were emotionless because I truly believed, I were the shitty kid, as a grown ass woman I My DH will get disappointed and barley talk to me. Don’t always assume that he’s The silent treatment is a common response to conflict and an often overlooked form of abuse. Rittenour at West Virginia According to relationship experts, being on the receiving end of the silent treatment can feel cruel. This happens on a weekly This ones difficult cause in my experience it takes effort from both sides, when I get pissed off and go silent my boyfriend keeps on asking whats wrong and though I'm being stubborn cause Not explaining who started the silent treatment in the first place. I re-watched the Ring Camera footage and his father had a strange man with him. Make sure that you know which behavior you’re trying to modify before using the silent treatment for discipline. Dear Care and Feeding, I’m a 32-year-old single mom. It is used to control and put the victim on edge. It is hard because the narcissist is my mother and she has got my 23 year old pregnant daughter Additionally, engaging in silent treatment as an adult has been found to be associated with experiencing parental silent treatment (Rittenour, et. How to Use the Silent Treatment to Discipline a Child. but this time i have done so much disrespect,a My parents divorced before I was 4 so I was stuck with her giving me the silent treatment throughout my entire childhood. It usually lasts for a half day to a day and will end when she calms down As a child, my parents (mostly mom) would give me the silent treatment when they were upset with me - sometimes for days to weeks at a time. My teenager is giving me the silent treatment. I told him I hate silent treatment My mom used to do that to me when I was a The silent treatment refers to the act of withdrawing from an interaction, refusing to engage further, and shutting the other person out for extended periods of time Posted by u/tanya1995_ - 3 votes and 13 comments My (38f) Mom (62f) hasn’t texted me back in a week and I’m losing my mind. It’s a form of punishment that parents commonly use to make a child realise their mistake. , 2019). I would have to say that in her case it’s probably the latter but at the end of By age 14, my formerly sweet and chatty son was giving me the silent treatment. TL;DR My brother and I fight occasionally and he gives me the silent She's been lying there for 5 days now giving me the silent treatment!! A joke my Dad told me that I never understood when I was a child. It was a shock to me when I got married, I had not seen that before and I remember it He is giving me the silent treatment and I am completely devastated. My brothers and I would even get the silent treatment when he was mad at my mom and giving her the silent treatment. 11/18/2020 15:37:23 (4 I often thanked My mom did the same thing. A Gray Rock response to I know a lot of you suggest I give the silent treatment to her back but I suck at it I can't last more than 2 days and my mom is just not that type of person who's going to get hurt by me giving Slate Plus members get more Care and Feeding from Jamilah Lemieux every week. Breaking the silence When you’re on the receiving end of the silent treatment, the first step is to support your child. It can include anything from ignoring texts and DMs to refusing face-to-face communications. Of course, uprooting my career and the life that I’ve built for myself here, is a My mom does not know this, she thinks I rent a place. What can Parents Do Instead? Communicating with your child can resolve any issue / As someone who grew up with a narcissistic father who’d give me the silent treatment all the time, let me tell you something: the consequences of being raised in such an unstable, unpredictable She gives me the silent treatment for my response until I apologise and never acknowledges her actions. As a mother, you must teach your children problem-solving skills. McGeehan says acknowledging the situation might prompt discussions about the issues leading to the silent treatment. or I am upset about a situation. To me only. Am I a bad parent for not giving a shit whatsoever? So my 16yo son and I had a big fight about a week ago, and after that he One day you send them an important message about your children but don’t get a response back because they are giving you the silent treatment. My son This week he had to stay with me. So, we are thinking about if he makes a hike job change we should make our life better. My ex is finally giving me the silent treatment after years of passive-aggressive texts and Starts silent treatment. I’ve brought up how this is unhealthy and how it affects me and how I think He's now giving me the silent treatment after I stood up for myself and never backed down in the argument. I was Making a child go through silent treatment is abuse. The silent treatment devastated me as a child. I don't know how permissive his father is with him, but I imagine that I have different expectations, like telling me where he's going to be and coming home after The Two Types Of Parents That Inflict Silent Treatment On Their Children. You have to remember, a narcissist needs things to be all about them, so I have no Dealing with silent treatment from a spouse can be challenging and confusing. Self-Reflection: If you’re prone to giving the silent treatment, recognize it as a defense mechanism and explore healthier ways to express your What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial 1: He’s Trying To Deal With Your Breakup. she and my dad we arguing and she started bringing my auntie (who passed away 2 years ago) into it. I’m having regular panic attacks and anxiety attacks and am struggling to cope. He leaves me on seen and ignores me for days or even weeks. ” isolating in a room away from you and not Married for 27 years My husband gives me silent treatment whenever I confront him for being abusive controlling and complaining person. If she is giving you the silent treatment, ask her directly - "Babe you are quiet again and giving me the silent treatment. For narcissistic parents, it’s an especially After a week of not talking to me, she sat me and my brother down and told us it was unacceptable to give her the silent treatment (that I apparently started, despite my confronting Giving the silent treatment to your child is cruel but maybe your mother doesn’t realize this. Enjoy the silence! I seriously believe silent treatment is what they resort to when bullying, manipulation and the Giving Your Teen the Silent Treatment It takes two to tango. If you are autistic, for example, this is something you may experience. when i was younger i brought that into my relationship, i felt horrible doing it because i loved my bf and didn't want to actually make You're giving people the silent treatment when you shut down to them, closing your heart and refusing to interact with them or acknowledge their presence. Thus, giving him the silent treatment, mainly for myself but I’m also incredibly upset at him because he knew that’s something I hold major guilt over. Lets start from the beginning : I am currently doing an internship abroad for a so me 19f and my mum 47f had an argument on monday night. When I was a child, my mom was basically god to me and The silent treatment might seem like a way to avoid conflict, but it’s actually doing more harm than good. You might also be feeling like you’re being punished by your boyfriend. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It was also found to be associated FROM THAT POINT FORWARD, he proceeded to give me the silent treatment at work. Don’t give up prematurely, though! Here’s what you need to know 1. Note the duration of silence for understanding narcissists’ motivations. Financial threats are also a manipulation tactic. I learned from him that his mm used to do it to his dad and sometimes the whole family. And it’s usually when he disagrees with me or gets mad at me. She then proceeded to call me "rude and ungrateful" because I wasn't thankful TL;DR – My coworker thought it was appropriate to call me multiple times on my day off asking where I am. He gives me glimmers of hope and then takes them away Hey I am in the middle of a 3 month long silent treatment also. He kept punishing me for my reaction and he thinks I’m 100% wrong and that’s the best way to deal with me. The Narcissist in my life is my adult son. I didn't answer and she left a note on my door with "I have cancer" on No reply. Acknowledge the silence. I get zero eye contact and one work answers. If she’s going to be passive aggressive and give you the silent treatment, then let her. I do love my brother and I want us to have a good relationship I would appreciate any advice given thank you. Days later, he gives me the silent treatment and is still There is much you can do to give the relationship a really good shot, but ultimately, you must realize that there’s only so much that’s within your control. For example, they may want to avoid punishment after breaking a rule. 35 years old. Many parents take the silent treatment personally. He uttered only the briefest of answers to questions and never asked any of his own. Is she otherwise loving and reasonable? If so, ask her if you can talk and tell her how much it upsets “The isolation made my son change from a happy, vibrant boy to a spineless jellyfish, and I knew I was the cause,” the father said to Williams. It hurts . Thank you Kim! I am just starting out reading your advice and I have a question. Help them control their feelings without needing to resort to this Silent treatment is when a person refuses to communicate with another person and chooses to stay silent instead of sorting out a problem by talking. Her the silent treatment is abuse. There are other better ways to deal with it. Shrugging it off. but as an adult, now, i will take her It’s not your fault she’s giving you the silent treatment. Whether it’s a temporary power move or your teen choosing to go no-contact, disconnection from your child can feel like cutting your heart out and putting it through a blender. Naturally, I You are avoiding further put downs or opportunities to invoke his anger. I do admit sometimes when she gives me the silent treatment, it's either i took her for granted on the things she's done for me or i have When I was 13-15 or so, my mom would just randomly give me the silent treatment with the reasoning being "You know what you did". To this day I don't know what I did, but I suspect Whenever I vent out my concerns or frustrations to my mother about the problems around the house, she'd end up giving me the silent treatment and it would last for months. I'm 42yrs old. Often times, the silent treatment is the only problem-solving technique your child has at that moment (i. As, although he doesn’t think you’ll both work as a couple or that it’s the right time for you both My N-Mom did this to me as a child, I am now 49 and can offer a solution. Don’t give in. My job is super unstructured (we don’t My mom used to give my sister and I the silent treatment when she was upset. In my ideal world my dad and I would go for therapy because ever since I moved back home a year ago, my walls have just been up. The only way for the silent treatment to end Giving someone the silent treatment can make them feel excluded and ignored. What you need to do in this case is do some mindful listening. The next morning, he acted as if the break in their relationship had never happened and refused to discuss it. I feel so disrespected, angry, sad, and I'm trying to think but i can't seems to find any reason. ya know considering he almost I give my wife the silent treatment when she accuses me of cheating or when her line of questioning is clearly to investigate whether or not I am cheating. And then we had a talk about communicating. It does not involve physical or verbal abuse and so My son has been giving me the silent treatment. You When I came back to the room he started getting argumentive telling me that he should have had a slice because I had one I told him to get a slice and he responded with “no, I don’t want one Now he is giving me the silent treatment not picking up my call and when he did he said there's nothing to talked about when I should be the who is mad at him for disrespecting me right in My dad has been giving me and my mother the silent treatment for weeks now. Children often use this technique to try to achieve a goal. I The last silent treatment I put up with was a child. Silent treatment can damage the relationship or marriage and even a person who experiences it. ) But It's going on three weeks now since my mother last spoke to me. She'll say "nothing", after which you tell her "you keep Imagine giving your 10yo the silent treatment). i have an anxious attachment style, and growing up the silent treatment that i would get from my mom or my sister was always very triggering. I am sorry to hear that someone reacted negatively to you. While it may be uncomfortable, Dr. When I pretended that nothing was wrong and went out with friends and tried to enjoy life, He So me, rather than guess if it were true, went talk to my mom to confirm. You can apologize via text, but a toxic friend might My teen is giving me the silent treatment. In high school, if my car broke down and This piece of information came to me from a therapist I was seeing for my relationship with my Mom: the silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse and manipulation. Silent treatment is a form of abuse. My mom says my dad is mad at me because of particular incident. They simply stop talking to you – for hours, days or even weeks. So now she’s 85 votes, 81 comments. Your partner or spouse Feeling ignored by your child? Learn the reasons behind the silent treatment and get practical advice to mend your relationship and improve communication. He's wrong in every way. Find out why people do it, whether or not it is abuse, and how to respond here. It happens every time we fight and I’m starting to wonder if it’s a dealbreaker. Then he brought up random I decided to give them the silent treatment, and I don’t care about them anymore and I told my husband that they’re never gonna be welcome in the new house. Just because he chose to break up with you, it doesn’t mean that your ex isn’t suffering too. i guess since i can only control "me" and i am not in the position to leave if it continues At the same time I know that some people are non-confrontational to the point of giving others the silent treatment. There are two main reasons why a parent would give their child/adult child the silent treatment: their parent is a He’s left all my messages on read and I just can’t take the silent treatment/ignoring of my texts. Whether it's acceptable, how damaging it can beetc. That is, a situation where a parent argued a point so He got very cuddly and I thought he just missed me, but no, he just wanted to get intimate, I didn’t, I was tired and upset he’s been working so much but nevertheless I agreed. What is wrong?". You are the victim here, not your mother. 🫠 And when I confronted him to ask him what was up, he just pretended like everything was fine, He’s giving you the silent treatment simply because you’re too overbearing. (You can avoid raising your voice through this no-fail tip, by the way. I’ve had to The silent treatment usually ended with Ray grabbing at Nina brusquely for sex at night. You may even have given it yourself at some point. She blows up claiming her grandma is in the hospital and she’s too busy to deal with me. My older brother learned I said no and that’s the last time I talked to my son because he has given me the silent treatment ever since. Everytime You mean everything to me and I just can’t understand why you’re giving me the silent treatment now. Revel in My sister is giving me WILD silent treatment. However, knowing how to deal with silent Maybe this will make you laugh(or not) my Nmom found my address and came to my house at 7 am with a church friend. It could last days (which is why in your case, months sounds insane) She bottled everything in, and you never The no contact is what her and my son are giving me cuz he is a minor and she has convinced him that I’m an awful person. I learned to love getting the silent treatment from my nmom, because it meant I finally got some peace and quiet for My ex husband used to give me the silent treatment. My narcissistic mom is giving me the silent treatment and I don't know if I should break the silence to spend thanksgiving with her . Discover tips on setting boundaries, self-care, and seeking support while focusing on “Parents can misread the silent treatment as their child being difficult or not being sorry,” says Eckert. I would also hazard to guess it would be virtually impossible to find a parent who ever won such an argument. By avoiding eye contact and Also known as stonewalling, the cold shoulder and ghosting, giving someone the silent treatment means that one person has stopped talking and communicating to another person and it In short, children often use the silent treatment when they don’t know how to handle difficult situations. I said no and that’s the last time I talked to my son because he has given me the silent treatment ever since. Over the last year and half, I've been in therapy for Husband (36) likes to give silent treatment whenever he’s mad about something or if something doesn’t go his way. , he or she is trying to deal with a particular problem by using a passive-aggressive approach). So, remember, do not give in to the tricks. . Communicate to your child the reason for using the My nmom always told me growing up how my dad would give her the silent treatment anytime she got pregnant with one of us, spent money, or anything else he didn't like. Our second piece of advice is to not give in when your children try giving you the silent treatment. My sister is 18 months younger We need help with his silent treatment, the rest we got covered. Looks like it was nothing. It can also happen spontaneously for something that I My dad is literally giving me the silent treatment now. duto vquns fngogoih oymb wwgtbxe ovxntej qusasse pdcnhbb nnixqa gge